Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Food?

I imagine this is a question that goes round and round in many people's heads every single day. In fact, I don't imagine it - I know it is.

It's an exhausting place to be… and it can get in the way of living life to the full. Constantly thinking about what you've eaten, what you're going to eat, what you shouldn't eat, and promising yourself that tomorrow will somehow be different. Before long, food is taking up far more space in your mind than it deserves.

As with so many things in life, the answer isn’t as simple as we’d like it to be.

Like so many things when it comes to our relationship with food, the answer lies in a combination of physiology, psychology and the habits we've developed over time all working together. Understanding those things is important because when we understand why something is happening, it often feels a little less frustrating and a little less like we've somehow failed.

One of the concepts I come back to time and time again is something called homeostasis. It sounds far more complicated than it is. Put simply, homeostasis is your body's way of keeping everything in balance.

A few weeks ago I read an article that explained this beautifully. It suggested that the further we swing in one direction, the stronger the pull in the opposite direction. It immediately reminded me of Newton’s Cradle – those desk toys with five metal balls hanging in a row. You pull one ball back and let go. It swings forward, knocking the ball at the other end into the air. The balls continue to swing back and forth like that until, eventually, they settle and become still. It isn’t a perfect scientific comparison but it has stayed with me because our relationship with food can feel remarkably similar.

Our minds and bodies behave in much the same way. In short they don’t respond well to being pulled to extremes. The more we try to override what our body is asking for, the harder it often works to get our attention again.

Think about the last time you were really thirsty. Let's face it, sometimes we don't prioritise grabbing that glass of water until we're desperate - I certainly don’t. Delicate sipping goes out of the window. Instead, we're gulping it down because our body has been trying to get our attention for quite some time.

Hunger works in much the same way. The longer we ignore it, the louder it gets. Sometimes we reach for what’s physically available, but often we reach for what’s psychologically available – the food we’ve been thinking about all day because we’ve told ourselves we can’t have it or don’t deserve it. For years, I thought the answer was simply more self-control. It took me a long time to realise I was asking the wrong question.

In short, the longer we ignore the ‘food noise’ the louder it tends to get and eventually our bodies stop whispering and start shouting. At that point, making calm, considerate choices around food becomes much more difficult because we’re no longer responding to gentle hunger cues – we’re responding to a biological need.

Of course, that’s only one part of the story. Another part of the answer lies in our brains  - the truth is they don’t respond well to restriction either.

Have you ever noticed that when someone is trying for a baby, suddenly it feels as though every woman they pass is pregnant or pushing a pram? That’s what happened to me, at least, and it’s a true ‘phenomenon’. Although it’s not really a phenomenon at all - in fact scientists call it frequency illusion and it’s entirely normal that once something becomes important to us our brains become remarkably good at spotting it.

Food is no different - the moment we tell ourselves we can't have chocolate, our brains start noticing chocolate everywhere. It's not because we suddenly have less willpower; it's because our attention has become finely tuned to the very thing we've labelled as important or forbidden.

And that’s when the mental chatter begins …before long the internal negotiation starts and that’s why food takes up so much space in our mind. I know this because I've had those conversations with myself too.

The internal dialogue with yourself begins…. ‘Maybe just one. No... I'll wait until the weekend. I've been good all day though. Oh, I've ruined it now...F-it!’

It's hardly surprising that food ends up taking far more space in our minds than it deserves. It's this heady cocktail of restriction, guilt, food rules and constant negotiation that keeps food firmly centre stage.

Perhaps the answer isn't to try and silence the noise by controlling food even more, but instead to understand where it's coming from. Because when we begin to understand what's driving our thoughts around food, challenge the rules we've created and give our bodies the consistency they've been asking for, the noise often begins to quieten on its own.

Silence the Noise isn't about making food unimportant. It's about helping it become an enjoyable part of life, rather than the thing around which life revolves.